🗞️ THE DUMP — OCTOBER 10, 2025
Your look at the weird, the wild and Williamson County
Hey Williamson — look at you, right on schedule. Pour a cup, grab a seat, and let’s wade into the weird, the wild and Williamson County together.
District 7 finally found its front-runner, Fairview found a new way to flood wallets, and Franklin’s candidates proved democracy can still sound like an open-mic night. We’ve got a home state manufacturing win, a free speech fight with a twist, and one Tennessee legend reminding us she’s still got plenty of sparkle left.
Breathe in, laugh out. Let’s dump it out.
🗳️ DISTRICT 7: VAN EPPS CLEARS THE FIELD
Tennessee’s 7th Congressional District race ended with something you rarely see anymore — clarity.
Matt Van Epps didn’t just win the primary; he cleared the field of eleven Republicans clawing for attention, breaking the 50-percent mark and leaving everyone else chasing his dust. His closest opponent, Rep. Jody Barrett, was so far back he could’ve campaigned from another time zone. It wasn’t close, and it wasn’t luck.
Van Epps ran a quiet campaign, kept his head down, and that’s what made it work. When you’re already in the lead, there’s no need to sling haymakers. And by the time Trump’s endorsement landed near the end, it didn’t rescue him — it simply confirmed what was already happening.
On The Matt Murphy Show (99.7 WTN), Michael Lotfi of Americans for Prosperity — a seasoned political insider — called it what it was: “a landslide.” Murphy agreed, describing the campaign as “smart, disciplined, and well-prepared.”
The two spent the next several minutes reminding listeners that the work isn’t over. “We need everybody,” Murphy said. “Those numbers are too close. Take nothing for granted.”
They’re right. The December 2 general election won’t be a coronation — it’s a turnout test. Rep. Aftyn Behn, the Nashville progressive who’s made a career out of being underestimated, will be standing on the other side. Early voting runs November 12 through Thanksgiving, which means while the rest of Tennessee is watching football and pretending to like cranberry sauce, campaigns will be busy counting who cared enough to show up.
But even a decisive night in District 7 couldn’t escape its favorite recurring character: Tennessee Stands’ Gary Humble.
Humble backed Barrett, and like clockwork, Barrett lost. On air, Murphy and Lotfi turned it into open season. Murphy deadpanned, “Everything that Gary Humble touches in Tennessee politics dies.” Lotfi didn’t miss a beat: “He’ll go, when he loses this one, it’ll be eight-for-eight he’s lost.” Then, twisting the knife, he added, “He literally calls them stupid — his own constituents.”
Cruel? Maybe. Accurate? Absolutely. Humble’s track record speaks louder than any sermon he’s live-streamed from the driver’s seat of his truck. Every race he touches ends the same way — a concession speech from his candidate and another round of “Well, we actually won early voting, but…” followed by the usual finger-pointing at “the establishment.” It’s a political version of Groundhog Day — except the groundhog keeps losing and somehow still blames the weather.
WW BOTTOM LINE
While Matt Van Epps stayed out of the circus, Jody Barrett climbed aboard Gary Humble’s wagon — and watched it roll straight into a ditch.
Republicans have their nominee, and the calendar is set. December will tell the rest of the story.
💧 WATER YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT?
Residents in Fairview are making waves — mostly involuntarily — after opening their recent water bills and discovering that staying hydrated now costs roughly the same as beachfront property off Hwy 30A.
The Water Authority of Dickson County, which manages Fairview’s water service, rolled out new rates. The first 2,000 gallons cost a manageable $30.63 — but after that, prices climb faster than a plumber’s callout fee on Sunday. Anything over 50,000 gallons? $16.76 per thousand. You could fill a pool or pay a mortgage — just not both.
And if you’re thinking, “Well, I’ll get an adjustment if there’s a leak,” think again. The district’s official policy says leak forgiveness is only for hidden or underground leaks — not irrigation mishaps. So if your sprinkler turns your yard into a koi pond overnight, congratulations, you just sponsored the city’s next water tower.
At a board meeting last spring, the district’s attorney clarified: “The policy excludes irrigation system leaks from adjustment eligibility for several operational and fairness-related reasons.”
Translation: You watered your lawn, now water your checkbook.
Meanwhile, others reported bills in the four figures. One resident said her grandmother’s bill hit $800 — and it stayed there month after month. For context, that’s more than most people’s car payment. Perhaps, hydration shouldn’t require a payment plan.
Locals can complain to the Tennessee Public Utility Commission, the Attorney General, or directly to the universe — results may vary.
Until then, residents are advised to check their pipes, unplug their sprinklers… and maybe pray for rain.
WW BOTTOM LINE:
In Fairview, the only thing flowing faster than water is the finger-pointing. You can drown in a leak, but don’t expect mercy — irrigation is a YOU problem.
🏛️ THE MICS WERE WEAK, BUT THE TAKES WERE STRONG
Franklin’s seven Board of Mayor and Aldermen candidates made their final pitch Monday night at Columbia State, just two days before early voting began — and, miracle of miracles, every single one of them showed up.
That’s right. All seven. No “couldn’t make it,” no strategically misplaced RSVPs. Just a full stage, one moderator, and one pretty rickety sound system. (Seriously — we need a new microphone, guys.) If nothing else, can someone please invent a universal hand signal for “lean into the mic”? Half the night sounded like campaign karaoke from down a well.
Anyway, here’s what we could make out.
Moderator Bo Patten of the Williamson County Association of Realtors guided the crew through Franklin’s holy trinity: growth, traffic, and housing — otherwise known as “the topics no one solves.”
On growth, everyone’s against “too much” but can’t agree on how to define it. One camp wants more data, one wants a new plan, one wants “grace instead of grievance,” and another wants to slow “rapid approvals.” It’s safe to say nobody’s running on “Let’s Build Faster.”
On traffic, they were unified — it’s bad. Really bad. Some blamed the state roads, others blamed the lights, and B.K. Muvvala won the comedy award by comparing Mack Hatcher congestion to a “B.K. sandwich.” The audience laughed, mostly because everyone’s been stuck between those buns.
On housing, it was the usual mix of optimism and despair. A little workforce housing here, a few affordable units there, and a general agreement that “something must be done,” preferably by someone else.
Bev Burger reminded everyone that Franklin does have a plan — “We turn everything upside down to look at the issues.” Jason Potts followed with his trademark calm, promising to keep protecting “what makes Franklin great,” which now includes the patience to sit through another muffled civic forum.
So yes, democracy happened — staticky, slightly distorted democracy — but democracy nonetheless.
Early voting runs through October 23 at 405 Downs Boulevard. Election Day is October 28.
WW BOTTOM LINE
Franklin’s debates won’t fix growth or traffic, but they do prove one thing — optimism costs a lot less than asphalt. The polls are open, the microphones may be dead, but the ballots are very much alive.
🖊️ MARKER MIRACLE: SHARPIE MAKES AMERICA CHEAP AGAIN
Remember when “Made in the USA” meant “Costs twice as much?” Not anymore. Newell Brands just pulled off the industrial equivalent of a mic drop in Maryville, Tennessee — they brought Sharpie manufacturing back from China and somehow made it cheaper to do it here.
Yep. The same company that used to ship plastic barrels halfway across the Pacific now cranks out 1.8 million markers a day, right off I-40, and still sells them for about a buck apiece.
Here’s the kicker:
Newell spent roughly $2 billion modernizing the plant, automating everything short of lunch breaks, and retraining workers for higher-skilled jobs. The result? No layoffs, 50% wage growth, and a process so efficient that even the robots gave high satisfaction surveys.
Almost every part of a Sharpie now comes from Tennessee — except the felt tip, still imported from Japan because apparently that’s sacred territory. The rest? 100% red-white-and-blue precision plastic.
If this keeps up, the next time you label your leftovers, your kid’s science fair volcano, or your neighbor’s campaign sign, you can do it with a Tennessee-made marker — cheaper, faster, better, and built by folks who just proved American manufacturing isn’t dead. It just needed a fresh tip.
WW BOTTOM LINE
Who knew “Bring jobs home” would one day include office supplies? The accountants ran the numbers, and patriotism finally made sense on a spreadsheet. Sharpie isn’t just making markers — it’s drawing the line where common sense meets capitalism.
🗣️ FREE SPEECH AND THE POST THAT COST A PAYCHECK
Rutherford County teacher Susannah O’Brien is learning the hard way that Facebook still doubles as a career shredder.
The longtime educator was fired this month after sharing two posts about the late conservative activist Charlie Kirk — one questioning why flags were lowered in his honor, the other sharing a meme from Occupy Democrats that wasn’t exactly a eulogy.
The district called her conduct “unprofessional.” O’Brien called a lawyer. Now she’s suing Rutherford County Schools and Director James Sullivan, claiming her firing trampled her First Amendment rights. Her attorney says it’s a clear case of government retaliation. The district says, “no comment,” which usually means “our lawyers are pre-gaming in the locker room.”
A federal judge will hear her request for reinstatement today at 1 p.m.
WW BOTTOM LINE
In the age of screenshots and outrage, Facebook is still the easiest way to turn tenure into testimony. Post wisely, friends.
🎤 DOLLY AIN’T DONE WORKIN’
America got nervous this week when Dolly Parton missed a Dollywood appearance and postponed her Vegas residency. Then her sister Freida asked for prayers, and the internet went full rhinestone panic.
But Parton is not dying. She’s just dealing with kidney stones, catching her breath, and telling the world — on camera, in full glam — “I ain’t done working.”
That viral video said it all:
“Do I look sick to you?... I’m not ready to die yet. I don’t think God is through with me.”
Turns out, she’d been putting off her own care while grieving her husband Carl Dean, who passed in March. And now? She’s home. Resting. Healing. Still shining, still calling her own shots.
This is the woman who wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” in a single day and told Elvis “no” to protect her publishing rights. A few kidney stones aren’t gonna stop her.
So no, Dolly’s not out of time. She’s just kicking it 9 to 5 — on her terms.
WW BOTTOM LINE
The Lord’s not through with Dolly. And neither is Nashville, Vegas, or humanity.
She’s still working, still shining, and still saving this country one rhinestone at a time.
God bless, Dolly Parton.
🚨 FINAL FLUSH: ROB PETER, PAY PAUL, CALL IT “PUBLIC SAFETY”
First it was Commissioner Mary Smith, trying to raid the Williamson County school budget to fund sheriff raises.
Now it’s rumored to be Fairview, weighing a 20% raise for police and fire, pulled from reserves and dressed up as a “public safety priority.”
Different city, same bad math.
It always starts with a good intention. “We need to stay competitive. We’re losing people. This is urgent.” And they’re not wrong — public safety matters. But every time a commission grabs from one bucket to fill another, they’re not solving a problem; they’re just moving it down the road.
This is what happens when reaction replaces planning. Budgets stop being roadmaps and start sounding like jam sessions — everyone playing louder to drown out the last mistake. We chase the loudest crisis, throw money at the moment, and then act shocked when the next alarm sounds.
The truth is, none of this is sustainable. Reserves are not a piggy bank for raises. They’re the safety net you never want to touch. Once you start normalizing withdrawals for day-to-day needs, you’ve admitted you don’t have a long-term plan — you have a wish list.
And that’s really what this is: wishful budgeting.
Fairview isn’t alone. All over Williamson County, we’ve seen leaders scrambling to patch holes they swore they’d already fixed. Schools versus deputies. Roads versus reserves. Everyone pulling from someone else’s pocket and calling it balance. But balance requires honesty — about costs, priorities, and what we can actually afford without mortgaging tomorrow.
If we spent half as much time building predictable budgets as we do trying to justify last-minute transfers, these debates wouldn’t keep repeating. Raises wouldn’t have to be emergencies. Teachers wouldn’t have to fight deputies for funding. And commissioners wouldn’t have to keep robbing Peter just to keep Paul happy.
We deserve better than governing by scavenger hunt. When every department is forced to fight for scraps, it’s not a competition — it’s a slow-motion collapse.
Leadership isn’t about finding the next pot of money. It’s about having the discipline to plan ahead, to say no when it’s unpopular, and to build budgets that hold up when the applause fades.
Until we do that, it’s just musical chairs with taxpayer dollars.
And sooner or later, the music stops.
And that’s another week in the can, friends. Thanks for reading.
The leaves are turning, the politics are churning, and somehow, we’re still standing, just like Dolly. Enjoy the weekend, keep your humor handy, and we’ll see you next Friday — same W, same time, same glorious nonsense.
