FRANKLIN, TN — GARY HUMBLE: GRADING ON A CURVE, SUING ON A WHIM
DUMMY OF THE WEEK
Hey ho, everybody. It’s that special time of the week again — when we gather around the swirling waters of civic dysfunction and crown one lucky Tennessean as our Dummy of the Week.
And friends, this week? We struck gold.
Introducing the king of conspiracies, the maestro of misinformation, the donor-dollar drama queen himself: Gary Humble — founder of Tennessee Stands, aspiring senator, self-appointed moral authority, and walking personification of a donation link. And we’re only looking at what he did this week (mostly).
Let’s run it down.
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STRAW POLL SPIN CYCLE
Gary kicked off the week throwing shade at the Davidson County GOP straw poll — all because someone accidentally wrote “295” instead of “195” on a whiteboard.
The typo was caught. It was fixed on the spot. No scandal. No cover-up. Just dry erase and human error.
But Gary, never one to waste a good non-story, took to his platform to cast doubt and sow suspicion, suggesting something sinister was afoot with the vote tally.
And here’s the best part: he’s mad about how the straw poll was conducted — even though it was run like a caucus.
That’s right, Gary. Secret vote counting? No oversight? No standard process?
You’ve just described every single caucus you’ve ever defended.
Welcome to the anti-caucus coalition — even if you’re only here because you didn’t like the result.
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SCORECARD STUNTING
Then came the main event: Humble finally released his long-promised Tennessee Legislative Report Card — a grading exercise so rigged it makes participation trophies look merit-based.
After months of promising objectivity, transparency, and “truth to power,” what did we get?
A highlight reel of loyalty and performative outrage:
• Jody Barrett — who, let’s be clear, literally passed nothing — scored a perfect 100 / A+.
• Todd Warner — who still appears to be writing campaign checks to now federally convicted vendors — got a 96 / A+ in “leadership.”
• Monty Fritts — the man behind the chemtrail bills, we’re not kidding — got a 93 / A.
They didn’t pass good laws. They passed Gary’s loyalty test. Say the buzzwords. Oppose the governor. Share the links.
Do that, and you’re a hero.
Meanwhile, actual conservative lawmakers from right here in Williamson County — people like Sen. Jack Johnson, Rep. Jake McCalmon, and Rep. Lee Reeves — got dinged.
What was their crime? Passing major legislation. Also, not being Gary.
• Johnson delivered universal school choice and voter verification reforms.
• McCalmon passed child protection and automotive booting reform.
• Reeves advanced immigration enforcement and protected county primaries.
All three got recognition from national conservative groups.
But Gary? He flunked them — because competence isn’t on the rubric.
And that’s before you even dig into how Gary graded these scores. He claims he tracked over 100 bills, but only used a fifth of them to calculate vote scores. Because if he included more, he’d have to admit the legislature is actually pretty conservative.
But that wouldn’t fit the narrative — and it definitely wouldn’t fit the donation drive.
And let’s talk positions.
• Gary opposed school choice — the flagship policy of both Trump and the Tennessee GOP.
• He opposed HB 990, a bill supported by Tennessee Right to Life that clarified abortion exceptions.
• He opposed SB 799, the bill that ended secret caucuses and gave Republican voters the right to vote in their own primaries.
So next time Gary lectures you on “conservative values,” ask him which ones he means.
Because it sure isn’t Trump’s platform. Or the Republican one. Or even basic common sense.
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THE LAWSUIT BLUFF
And just when you thought the week couldn’t get dumber, someone asked Gary a question on social media:
“Hey Gary, are you getting paid by the John Rose for Governor campaign?”
Now, if the answer is no, you say no. Simple. Done.
But Gary? He threatened to sue.
Because apparently, accountability only flows one direction.
You see, Gary will comb through everyone else’s donation reports like he’s doing a forensic audit for the CIA.
But the second someone asks where his money comes from?
It’s time to lawyer up. Or at least pretend to.
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TRANSPARENCY? NEVER HEARD OF HER.
Gary’s whole brand is “holding politicians accountable.” Railing against special interests, PACs, and backroom money.
But here’s what Gary doesn’t tell you:
He’s got nonprofits. He doesn’t itemize donors. He doesn’t disclose who funds his lifestyle — his house, his truck, his lawsuits, his gear. He operates behind a business called Run Hard, LLC, which apparently specializes in collapsing campaigns and cashing checks.
He recently admitted his donations are down over 30% this year — blamed it on Trump.
But here’s the likelier truth: the audience is catching on.
In a county full of smart, civic-minded conservatives, the Humble brand is starting to rot.
And when the money slows down?
Gary doesn’t moderate.
He escalates.
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THE HUMBLE HIT LIST: 0–5 IN 2024
Oh, and when Gary’s not getting donations, he fancies himself a political adviser.
Here’s a snapshot of his recent consulting résumé:
• Michelle Foreman — lost her House primary in District 65.
• Larry Linton — lost his House primary in District 12.
• Frank Niceley — ousted in his Senate primary.
• Chris Spencer — lost his Senate primary in District 18.
• Monica Irvine — lost her Senate primary.
That’s five candidates.
Five losers.
All connected to Gary — whether by consulting, endorsements, or direct financial ties.
And here’s the kicker: Tennessee Stands reportedly endorsed all five while Gary was allegedly getting paid. The same Tennessee Stands that claims to be a civic watchdog… was functioning as an ad agency for its founder’s political side hustle.
It’s not just bad judgment — it’s a textbook conflict of interest, with a healthy dose of potential campaign finance violations.
PACs aren’t supposed to coordinate like that. But Gary’s blurred the lines so many times he’s practically erased them.
And don’t forget Gary himself — who ran for State Senate in 2022 and lost.
Oh, and fun fact — Gary announced his 2026 Senate campaign in the Tennessee Lookout, one of the most liberal publications in the state. Not The Tennessee Star. Not Tennessee Conservative News. No, Gary chose the progressive blog.
The man who built his entire persona opposing liberal media… handed them the exclusive.
Make it make sense.
So unless something dramatic changes?
He’s about to add another L to the ledger.
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CONGRATULATIONS, GARY HUMBLE
You stirred up fake drama over a Sharpie error.
You gave perfect scores to your pals while flunking people who actually passed laws.
You opposed school choice, abortion clarification, and local primaries — all while claiming to represent “conservative values.”
You threatened lawsuits, hid your donors, and reportedly endorsed your own clients through your PAC.
You flopped harder than your own Senate campaign — propped up by motorized wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, and the smell of scorched dignity.
You are the Dummy of the Week.
And nobody else even came close.