DATELINE WILLIAMSON COUNTY — FOIA, CONFETTI, AND CURRICULUM CLOWNERY: HERE WE GO AGAIN

Originally posted April 16, 2025

DATELINE WILLIAMSON COUNTY — FOIA, CONFETTI, AND CURRICULUM CLOWNERY: HERE WE GO AGAIN

It’s that time again, folks. The Williamson County School Board (WCSB) Planning Session is tonight, and if you hear a faint hum in the air—it’s the whir of color printers firing up to churn out matching t-shirts and protest stickers. Because you better believe Cory Martin, proud District 8 FOIA connoisseur and One WillCo’s self-appointed Watchdog General, is revving up for another performance of procedural pathos.

The big show? Next Monday’s full board meeting.

The main event? More heartbreak, more hashtags, and maybe—if we’re lucky—some interpretive dance about digital textbooks. Not maybe. Definitely.

But let’s take a moment to appreciate Cory’s dedication. The man just dropped a 1,400+ page FOIA manifesto and a Substack novella that reads like the Unabomber meets the JFK files. Cory combed through 632 emails like he was mining for gold—or at least a comma splice from WCSB Member Donna Clements.

In his magnum opus, he:

- Counted every pro and anti email (math!),

- Tattled on who replied and who didn’t (middle school!),

- Timed how fast Clements hit paste (legendary!),

And somehow, Cory concluded that this already-decided, already-ordered, possibly-already-shipped curriculum should be reversed—because of matching t-shirts and a fresh batch of stickers? (You know they’re coming.)

Honestly, if we’re going to sit through this spectacle again, let's go full-on, just roll out the red carpet.

Who wore it best?

Best themed shirt?

Best coordinated outrage ensemble?

“Who loves the kids?” (YEAH!)

“Who loves the teachers?” (HELL YEAH!)

“Who loves education?” ([murmurs])

“Who loves the school board members—those hardly paid volunteers trying to serve kids, teachers, and schools?” ([crickets])

But sure—let’s keep pretending this is about students.

Anyway, back to you, Cory. Buddy—we respect the hustle, but at this point you’re FOIA’ing your way into a padded room.

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AND YOU'RE NOT ALONE

You’ll be joined by the usual suspects:

- Anne McGraw (Williamson Strong’s Field Marshal of Angst),

- Peggy Kingsbury (the ever-podcasting conscience of progressive Williamson County),

- And an army of elementary schoolers reading speeches they absolutely did not write, each flanked by parents armed with equal parts of indignance and glitter signage.

What is One WillCo’s special move, you ask? Well it’s just that: Line up kids who still need help spelling “photosynthesis” to deliver heartfelt emotional pleas about textbook adoption processes they couldn’t diagram in a sentence.

But if the plan is to out-theater Moms for Liberty, good luck. They’re already prepping a Barbie Dreamhouse of Liberty float and at least two wardrobe changes.

And don’t forget: it’s all for a curriculum you already lost on. You made your case. You FOIA’d every inbox in the tri-county area. You tallied the replies. You crafted a public spreadsheet and featured it on your Substack. Organized massive email campaigns. And still—the board went with STEMscopes.

Cue the confetti... but this sounds eerily familiar.

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FLASHBACK: EMAILS DON’T WIN ELECTIONS

Just ask former board member Nancy Garrett how that strategy worked out. She once paraded a spreadsheet full of pro-mask emails like it was a court order from Mount Sinai. Declared it a mandate. “Case closed—motion for more masks.”

The response? Voters showed up, flipped the board, and sent her and her conspirators packing.

That’s the silent majority you’re dealing with—the ones not screaming on Facebook, not dragging their kids into politics, and not pretending that public comments are Article V of the Constitution.

And let’s be honest:

This isn’t about kids anymore.

This is about politics, control, and feeding the never-ending outrage cycle that makes normal people tune out entirely.

You think the average Williamson County parent—running late from work, picking up Chick-fil-A, praying their kid’s cleats are in the trunk—has time for this?

They don't. They are just… tired.

- Tired of the t-shirts.

- Tired of the drama.

- Tired of every board meeting being turned into a televised circus.

Want to tune in to see what’s actually happening with WCS?

Good luck.

Eric Welch is mid-monologue and won’t be done until at least Tuesday.

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SO WHAT NOW?

Well, the books are likely already en route. That ship has sailed. It’s got a barcode, a UPS tracking number, and maybe a Kindle file, too.

So if this truly is about the kids, maybe it’s time to regroup, rethink, and actually strategize. But if this is about optics and outrage—well, congrats. You’ve nailed it. You’ve turned textbook adoption into a street protest. Again.

So how do you crank it up a notch?

- Matching capes?

- Public comment karaoke night?

- Fire Sup. Jason Golden out of a cannon? (Tempting, but let’s not.)

At this point, it feels like we peaked in 2021 with the “We Will Find You” parking lot drama. But Cory’s working hard to make sure we reclaim that national embarrassment crown.

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FINAL THOUGHT

Buckle up, Williamson County.

Tonight’s just the rehearsal.

Monday night is the circus.

The spotlight is hot, and the clowns are already stretching backstage.

And yes, the cannon is loaded—aimed squarely at your sanity.